Following Sheila

An article by Drew    1 Comment

Recently my wife Helen and I enjoyed a brief holiday in Aus, driving from Melbourne to Adelaide. Along with our nifty, thrifty Getz, we hired a GPS. For the technologically illiterate a GPS is a Global Positioning System – a brilliant navigation device which holds a road map of the whole country in its little box brain and using a satellite signal, knows exactly where you are. Type in your destination and the GPS both shows you the route on its screen and talks to you, giving you clear instructions. Our GPS had a female voice with an Australian accent so we dubbed it Sheila.

Sheila was well worth $10 per day, undoubtedly reducing the stress and navigation battles that would have occurred. She was so calm and assuring. “In 600 meters turn left on to 26.” OK – not entirely sure what 600 meters looks like but I’d better get in the left lane. It can’t be the first left, that’s too soon, but is it the next one? Sheila always provided comforting conformation as you approached the correct intersection. “Turn left on to 26”.

When we made mistakes Sheila didn’t get cross or critical. “Ya blew it, ya mangy dingo!” No, Sheila, after a moment of reflection, would utter one word, one dreaded word – “Recalculating”. Now you’d had to think fast because Sheila would start firing out quick commands some of which could prove very difficult. “Make a U turn” but Sheila I’m on a motorway. “Recalculating… in 2 metres take the off ramp to Waggawagga.” Blast… missed it! “Recalculating”

Sooner or later Sheila would get you back on the right path. If you strayed sufficiently it might be an entirely different route but despite your human foibles Sheila would get you there. “Approaching destination on left.” Ah the relief!

Completely lost in a big city like Melbourne, putting all your faith in a little dashboard box was a bit freaky at times… especially when Sheila was silent. After Sheila had given us a long term instruction “Drive 12 kilometres and enter the roundabout” she’d shut up. A human navigator would keep chattering – repeating and elaborating – but as long as you were on the right course Sheila didn’t have anything to say. A little “Hey you’re doing well” would have been nice – but Sheila’s silence was a real test of faith.

And now I’m afraid we have to explore the dark night of disbelief and disillusionment. Sheila proved fallible. Any GPS is only as good as the maps which are programmed in. If the maps are outdated or wrong the GPS will lead you astray. Apparently in the UK the GPS maps are shockingly bad to the point of being dangerous. Even in NZ and Australia roads change. New roads are built, old roads blocked. What was a two way street is made one way but no one told Sheila so she may in all innocence send you against the traffic flow.

Then there are mistakes you can make when putting in the destination. Helen and I wanted to visit dear friends who lived at 22 Jervois Rd. We had no idea that there were two Jervois Roads in Adelaide. In our ignorance we chose the Jervois Rd. in South Adelaide not the one in Glenelg. As we drove further and further out of the city my faith was shaken to the core. I was sure we were going too far but Sheila was still telling us to drive on. The tram can reach Glenelg in 25 minutes and we’ve been driving fast for half a year. This must be wrong. “Drive 6000 kilometres then turn left.” Noooo!!!

Eventually we arrived at 22 Jervois Rd. in a distant and dodgy suburb on the fringes. No one was home. A neighbor let us phone our friends and soon we were heading back to the city, still following Sheila, who now had the correct address of Jervois Rd. Glenelg. Ironically outside a church on the way we saw a sign reading “God allows U turns.” We were an hour late and somewhat shattered but still had a great evening.

The parallels between following Sheila and faith in God are numerous and obvious. I’d like to highlight three.

1 – you have to use your intelligence and judgement – following blindly is not a good idea.

2 – silence can be OK – it can mean you’re on the right course.

3 – occasionally we all make mistakes and have to change course. This is not easy. You may have to back down, back track but much better than getting mad, blaming others or stubbornly heading the wrong way is applying Sheila’s golden principle – recalculating.